The GOP defense of Rudy Giuliani was taken down in a satirical column published by the Chicago Tribune on Wednesday.
“Federal investigators had the gall to execute a so-called search warrant on the New York City apartment of my hero and close personal friend Rudy Giuliani, America’s mayor and former lawyer to the most honest president we’ve ever had, Donald J. Trump,” Rex Huppke wrote. “Suffice it to say I am OUTRAGED. I am unfamiliar with the case, have not read the search warrant and do not get information from traditional ‘news sources,’ but I can say with 100% confidence this is #JudicialOverreach mixed with #CancelCulture mixed with communist propaganda.”
The columnist offered his legal services, but noted he is only legally allowed to practice law in outer space.
“Mr. Giuliani is 100% innocent, and he has, in his possession, all the evidence anyone needs to prove the Clintons, the Bidens and the Obamas are part of a global conspiracy to prevent more than two people from subscribing to my blog,” he wrote. “Hunter Biden is guilty of unimaginable crimes, and because he is the son of the current president, Joe Biden must step down and allow President Trump to return for a second term.”
“We must swiftly move past this unpleasantness so Mr. Giuliani can resume his podcast and continue insisting the 2020 presidential election was stolen by European socialist antifa-vampires who controlled the minds of voters through hypnosis,” he wrote. “My gut tells me his theory is absolutely right.”
Read the full column.